Athens-to-Atlanta Poem, by Stuart Austin (saustin@ix.netcom.com)

Demonstration of the "Gatecrasher" technique for speed control.
Left to right: Shawn Vanderhoef, Matt Kennedy, Bob Parillo, Nan Boyd, Roy Vanderhoef.

Subject:      A day spent training for the Athens to Atlanta skate marathon
From:         S Austin <saustin@ix.netcom.com>
Date:         1997/10/06
Message-Id:   <34387773.4787@ix.netcom.com>
Newsgroups:   rec.sport.skating.racing,rec.sport.skating.inline

The perfect day
To train for A2A
================


"Ho, mates!  It's time, time to train hills!
Forget your fears!  It's time for some thrills!"

So came the call to our ring of friends,
A2A training - a mean to these ends.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

We'd heard tales of this mystic Georgian terrain,
With gravity, traffic, hypnotic pain,

But this is a hardy bunch, these athletes,
Ready for challenge they knew they would meet.

Me? A humble scribe, along for the task,
Of watching good skaters, trying to go fast,

I'm staying home on the day of the race,
Eighty-six miles, I'm not ready to face.

But these!  Oh, they're full of intent
To prepare for this task, this race, this event.

Like Horatio, Hamlet's noble poet,
I'll cheer on my friends as they "just do it,"

And provide a record, lasting forever
Of the mentality required for such an endeavour.

(So I'll hang with them, as much as I should.
Well, while keeping my skin on. That would be good.

And besides, Horatio's still alive at the end.
Look what happened to Hamlet. An unpleasant trend.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

So off we ventured, this happy crew,
To Cumberland, to practice a thing or two.

Ah, Cumberland, nestled in Appalachia,
Home of "Rocky Gap," "Breakneck Road," and such other places,

Where beckon hills, some small, some grand,
(Oh! All seemed bigger than what we had planned!)

We were met with the smiles of friendly Park Rangers,
And cheers and waves from passing strangers,

As we zoomed down the tarmac, sixty wheels all in sync,
And skimmed o'er the pavement, quick as a wink,

The Rangers were even amused, when told out straight,
"Sorry! Couldn't stop!  We just crashed through your gate!"

(A technique not recommended for just any hill.
If the shock doesn't get you, the splinters will.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Communication, we learned, is crucial,
While the pack is traveling much faster than usual,

Words to remember, while scorching the tar:
"Slow up, dammit, Roy! We're catching that car!"

Or "What's the signal that means 'I'm Freaking?'"
And "Is that sweat?" "No, my brain cells are leaking."

This: "You've got to quit that forward cant!
You're crusin' for a full-face plant!"

Finally: "Ugh! What in the hell is that carcass?
One two three four five six...Oh good, it's a deer, it's not one of us."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Lest you think it was all this frivoulous air,
Let me remind you - to go down, you must start somewhere,

Yeah, fool - I'm talkin' 'bout climbin'
So start you a-choppin' and quit your damn whinin',

And turn off that dang heart rate alarm,
All that beepin' is causin' me harm.

Call this a climb?  Heck, down in Georgia,
You'd suck dust as the pack swept by and ignored ya,

They'd be skating while standing up straight,
Chatting, hydrating, taking a break,

Saving their energy for the REAL big stuff.
(Alright already!  I've had enough!

Can we turn back now? Well, first stop for a minute.
My chest works much better when my heart's back down in it.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

So finally, down wore our autumn day,
As did ourselves, in much the same way,

Our energy shrank, as our shadows grew,
Let's head home now, and rest a few,

For this was just a weekend treat,
Nothing like the real meet,

Where at the finish, we can say it proud,
That final summing, single word: OW!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

To Roy, Shawn, Nan, Bob, Matt (and Eddy, whom we forgot to invite):
Best wishes in Athens to Atlanta - live life large!

(c) 1997 S. Austin
Poetic Licence #5344-0099, Expires 10/99

The "Prayer-o-dynamic" position for hill descents.
Front to rear: Shawn Vanderhoef, Bob Parillo, Matt Kennedy, Nan Boyd, Roy Vanderhoef.
(Somehow this got flip-flopped - the road is supposed to be on the right of the skaters?!?!?)

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